You don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing you need.

Student Question: I think I have senioritis, but I’m only a sophomore. How do I get out of my slump? Please help!

Abby’s Answer: Are you or someone you know suffering from early-onset senioritis? Yes? Well, I’m here to help. A little-known fact is that there are actually several variants of senioritis caused by different viral strains. Here, I’ll outline recommended treatments for three of the most common types.

Classical Senioritis (Locked-Out Syndrome): Affects all student age groups, but particularly seniors. Peak season appears to align with midterm schedule. Symptoms include lethargy, the inability to stay awake in class, and selective paralysis whenever the affected individual attempts to study or complete assignments. Recommended course of action includes short- and long-term goal-setting to increase motivation as well as taking breaks outside to feel more refreshed while studying.

College Applicatitis: Affects seniors, especially in mid-fall and late winter. Symptoms may include restlessness, anxiety, existential dread, and writer’s block. Experts recommend breaking down tasks into a step-by-step process to reduce stress. A senior who was interviewed also pointed out the importance of taking breaks during long sessions of writing or filling out forms: “If you can just carve out ten to fifteen minutes to cool down, it can help.”

Four-Hours-Of-Sleep-A-Nightis: Affects a variety of populations, including student athletes, gamers, and overachievers. Can develop as a complication of procrastinitis. Symptoms include mental fog and exhaustion. Effective treatments range from the restriction of blue light intake to a full time-management intervention. In severe cases, a student’s courseload or extracurriculars may need to be reduced. Treatments must be continued until patient reaches a minimum of eight hours of sleep per night.

Please visit your primary care doctor (also known as your guidance counselor) with any additional concerns.

Q: How do I (kindly) tell a friend that their constant sharing of TikToks is getting on my nerves?

A:  Remember learning about communication styles in ninth-grade Wellness? Probably not, but we can use that lesson to consider different ways of handling a conflict like this one! There are four different communication styles: aggressive, passive, assertive, and passive-aggressive.

Aggressive: Tell your friend, “Your constant sharing of TikToks is getting on my nerves.” Then block them.

Passive: Say nothing. Continue to drown in meaningless brainrot videos and Family Guy clips.

Assertive: This is probably the one you should go for to keep your friend and your sanity. Tell your friend that you’re trying to spend less time on social media and don’t want to be distracted while you’re doing homework, so you would appreciate it if they would communicate with you through some other medium (not Reels or YouTube Shorts).

Passive-Aggressive: Send this question to be published in an advice column, hoping your friend will read it and take the hint. That’s right: if you are reading this article, this question could be targeted specifically towards you. Trust no one. 

Thank you for reading the Talon Advice Column! 

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