Student Question: Are planets bald? SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY.

Abby’s Answer: Since you’ve been very persistent in asking this very serious question, I will state the obvious: Every planet is bald except Earth. The proof is left as an exercise to the reader.

Q: What is the exact time and date of my death?

A: Seniors really know how to lighten the mood, don’t they? Well, I’ve consulted my tarot deck, and your card is The Hierophant, which I interpret to mean “please consult a psychic or similarly qualified person.” I’m not sure if “qualified” is the right word, but it definitely doesn’t describe me in this scenario.

The Magic 8 Ball said “Cannot Predict Now.”

Q: I feel like we should be allowed to use our phones during AcES since it’s an extended time, not really a class.

A: First of all, this isn’t a question. Second of all, I am definitely not the person to talk to about it. This column is not, in fact, secretly written by the principal. I’m not even sure it’s read by the principal (but if it is… hi, Ms. Keenan!) Third of all, AcES stands for “Academic Enrichment and Support.” Clash of Clans might be your emotional support, and some might describe it as enriching, but it is decidedly not an academic activity.

Q: Are the school trips to France, Italy, or Spain worth the money? Have you ever been on one? If so, what were your experiences?

A: What’s this? A thoughtful and genuine question that I have relevant experience for? Anonymous Sophomore #18, I would like to express my gratitude to you this Thanksgiving season. I have been on an SHS trip to Italy; it was a great time, and the tour was very well-organized and informative. However, with travel insurance and spending money (in addition to the trip itself), the costs can be quite prohibitive. I would say that the experience is more likely to be worth it if you take advantage of the opportunity to learn more about a country’s culture and language rather than just thinking of it as a vacation with your friends.