If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Student Question: Can you explain linear and angular velocity?

Abby’s Answer: Sure! 

Let’s say you are on a bicycle with a wheel diameter of two feet that is traveling down Beach Street at six miles per hour. To calculate the angular velocity, you first attempt to convert your units into rotations per minute. However, while doing so, you hit one of the potholes in the junior lot and fall into a mud puddle, displacing 0.05 cubic meters of water and frying your TI-84 calculator. 

You conclude that learning is impossible under these conditions and organize a campaign to lobby the rec department until the parking lot is resurfaced. Inspired by your success and newly discovered leadership skills, you reject STEM in favor of a career in public policy, ultimately leaving your impact on the world as a great luminary of the twenty-first century reform movement.

Also see figure 1 below.

Q: My brother is always complaining about having to go to my concerts even though I go to his basketball games every weekend. It hurts my feelings. What should I do?

A: Try to help your brother enjoy going to concerts. Think of things that could make it feel more like a basketball game—for example, ask him to give you a play-by-play-style analysis at the end, or buy him snacks to eat beforehand. Or you could just push him and his stupid basketball into a pothole. I hear there’s plenty of them in the junior lot.

Q: How do I ask a guy out for prom?

A: Finally, a chance to use my promposal ideas! I think you should wait in the parking lot after school and tell him that you have something for him in your car (or a friend’s car if you don’t have one). Then, pop the trunk to reveal a setup of themed decorations with, of course, the promposal sign in the center—making sure that you have someone filming so you can join the running for those free tickets. Oh, and since you’ll be in the parking lot, tell them to be careful that their phone doesn’t fall into a… yeah, you get the idea.

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